Today is 90 days and June 1st. My fiancé is not moving back in today. In March we discussed June 1st and then at the end of April she said June 1st and then in the middle of May she said June 1st. It’s June 1st and it’s not happening.
They say recovery is wonderful and gives you many gifts but so far I don’t have any gifts. I have an empty house with a dog that misbehaves so badly that I want to get rid of him. I’m beginning to feel like all of this is bullshit. I don’t want to spend so much fucking time going to meetings and meeting with my sponsor if all of this is a waste of my time.
What I have learned is not to hope for anything. Most times you’ll be disappointed. All I have been is disappointed since this recovery bullshit has started. I’d rather be fucking high all the time and miserable instead of miserable and clean.