Everyday Life

What’s the point of living in recovery? They say it’s so that we can be “productive members of society.” I don’t want to be an acceptable and productive member of society. Aligning myself to those standards makes me live like every other fucking person in the world. I get up, go to work, make dinner and then go to bed. We do that same routine every fucking day for the next 40 years. How pointless is that? 

What do we live for? We have a whole world to experience and we won’t be able to experience even half of it. 

We are a controlled society. Just a human machine governed by the governments to make sure we don’t get out of hand. We work day in and day out just so that we can live paycheck to paycheck and put more money in the pockets of those who don’t need it. 

Using drugs was like saying “fuck the man! I don’t give a shit what you say!” Now that I’m in “recovery” I’m just bowing down and submitting to their terms on how to live in their governed society. 

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Author: laurenmryan93

January 2nd 2017 changed my life. It was on this day that my fiancé decided she was going to get clean..I did not but I became abstinence for her. By January 8th I had to be admitted for my Bipolar and for a diagnosis that I would receive in the hospital, Borderline Personality Disorder. I had relapsed with my eating disorder before being admitted so I had a lot of recovering to do. At 40 days abstinent I relapsed on drugs. I quickly got out of control and realized that maybe I was a drug addict after all. On March 4th 2017 I decided to attend NA on my own. It hasn't been easy. I had used drugs to live and to deal with my mental health. But I've now chosen to be honest with my treatment team and I'm whole heartedly in recovery from drug addiction, bulimia, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not another statistic, I am not a lost cause.

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