Anxiety at all time high

Today: fiancé caused me to be 45 min late to work.
Work: program not up and running. Awaiting benefits exam results. A coworker/program partner is a charged thief and forger and in the middle of a court case for stealing medications. Causing paranoia in me that she'll steal something from me. Has only been employed a week and hasn't worked a full week yet.
Medical: frequent nosebleeds. Headaches. Elbow and wrist pain from them being broken a few years back. Bursa in my foot.
Weight: heaviest I've ever been in my life. People think I look great.
Addiction: feeling like I don't qualify. Garbage can addict.

That's enough to cause anyone anxiety. For me I have a generalized anxiety disorder so all of that is causing me to go overboard. Not only because I have those things going on but just the day to day anxiety. I talked to my doctor about it and he put me back on Ativan. So now I have to worry about my fiancé not getting into that.

There's so much going on I'm trying to keep it together. I feel like I'm slipping into a depression. I just want to be ok. I hate that there's always a battle in my head. All I want is to be healthy and happy.

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Author: laurenmryan93

January 2nd 2017 changed my life. It was on this day that my fiancé decided she was going to get clean..I did not but I became abstinence for her. By January 8th I had to be admitted for my Bipolar and for a diagnosis that I would receive in the hospital, Borderline Personality Disorder. I had relapsed with my eating disorder before being admitted so I had a lot of recovering to do. At 40 days abstinent I relapsed on drugs. I quickly got out of control and realized that maybe I was a drug addict after all. On March 4th 2017 I decided to attend NA on my own. It hasn't been easy. I had used drugs to live and to deal with my mental health. But I've now chosen to be honest with my treatment team and I'm whole heartedly in recovery from drug addiction, bulimia, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not another statistic, I am not a lost cause.

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